In July of last year I was in West Virginia for the annual family reunion. We had a cabin in Beech Fork and, although the weather wasn’t optimal, there was plenty to do. Deer were everywhere, we went hiking, we attempted Geocaching, my younger brother and I went canoeing, and of course, we ate.
My younger brother, skinnier than ever, didn’t drink pop – the delicious caffeinated carbonated beverage we watched our mother consume from glass bottles as children. Coincidentally, neither did my older brother. I didn’t ask why, I was more concerned with how they survived sans caffeine. Both of them still drank coffee and I guess that is how they managed to perform daily tasks.
So when I came home I decided not to drink pop.
In February I watched a documentary about food and a few days later went to lunch at Cracker Barrel. I ordered “chicken fried steak” and it was delicious. But before I forced myself it to eat I noticed that the piece of meat was almost half the size of my plate. I tried not to think about the overall size of the chicken that had a breast that big, I tried not to think of the chemicals used to make it that big, I tried not to think of the chickens in that documentary that were dying because they were so huge they couldn’t move.
After that meal, I quit eating meat.
Oddly enough, neither of these decisions were made to lose weight. I’m obsessed with losing weight, or really, of not gaining too much weight. I exercise all the time (for people my age it is all the time) and I worry all the time that I’ll get big – really big. I dream about having rock hard abs and small thighs but when I look in the mirror I see a spare tire and when I look down I see cottage cheese above my knees.
I have the ability to give up two things I loved – pop and meat – and I have the ability to exercise more than most people my age. But for some reason I do not have the ability to lose weight. Yesterday I was asked to make a commitment to lose weight to help a friend (we all do things better together) and I agreed. The goal is to lose two pounds by race day, which for me is March 29.
In order to make it a true commitment I am writing about it.
I weighed myself today and the weight was the same as it always is on Monday – three pounds heavier than it was on Friday. So I went back to my room and did a few situps, a couple of pushups and stretched. It is amazingly hard to stretch. Try to lay on your back and lift one leg in the air for 10 seconds. Why is that so hard to do?
I’m not sure what else to do, what else to give up, in order to lose weight. I can exercise more – even if it is a few situps and painful ‘leg in the air’ stretches but in all honesty, I don’t know what to do to feel full and lose weight. Here’s hoping I can figure something out by March 29.